Reports | 25 05 2020
More than two thousand men of the Syrian refugees in Germany, protested demanding to go to Austria, after having got their wives on the legal protection, which prevents the husband from beating his wife or practicing violence against her. For the German authorities, the solution was to ask those to return to Syria, alone, not accompanied with their wives and children.
Marriage life in Germany: stabbing and hiding bodies
The twenty-years-old Kurdish female Roxan, from northern Syria, ran away from the war and social harm she suffered of after she was raped by three men and resorted to Germany two years ago. Roxan did not expect that her short life ends at the hands of the closest people to her. Her body was later found in the garden of her parents' house.
Two horrifying incidents occurred in a European country, its laws care for women’s rights, where women are considered to be a human being with full capacity first, and secondly as a woman. This is what angers many Arab men, who do not see in a woman, but a being whose job is to satisfy their desires and implement their applications and save their "honor."
Are women able to cope in the new communities more than men?
All the studies suggest that women in general, are much more able to integrate. Women are willing to learn the language of the new country and don’t have any reservation about involving in any kind of job.
Lamis, a Syrian woman living in the French city of Bordeaux, she resorted to France with her family. She and her son and daughter were able to master the language within a reasonable period. She did not fail to work, she even worked in the wine harvest, until she found a constant job, to assist her family. But her fifties husband could not keep up, either in learning the language of the country nor in work. That makes him think that he became of little importance, especially after he spent all his savings. So he started pretending to have a psychological illness, to draw the attention of is family. Thus, he managed to acquire the family interest and concern. And that's what he needed in the absence of his ability to support his family.
Fadia, who resorted with her two children to Germany by sea, and subjected to danger until she got settled, after that she brought her husband. But she was shocked after his arrival that he was not like the situation at all, saying: "My husband arrived in Germany, did not understand where we are, we were starting learning the language me and my children, and the German state was supporting us financially. But the amount of aid turns into my Bank account, and my husband, who refused to learn the language under the pretext that he has become too old to memorize, he denounced me to have my own account, despite the fact that it’s me who is supporting the family." he always repeats the phrase: “how can I continue to live in a country, that took my prestige from me, and my position in my family, but to give you all the privileges, you are almost a man!". The husband is thinking about going back to Syria, and then they must be separate.
The veil is my choice
Nada arrived in France since more than two years, she lived in a popular area in the outskirts of Damascus.
"my friend encouraged me to take off my veil [Hijab] which I wore for years under my family's desire. At first, when I wore it I thought I was protecting myself from sexual harassment, this was a prevalent way of thinking in my country, but today I am in a country that does not care about what to wear and what to do".
She added: "here I gave a try to get out of the house without a head cover, and there were no reactions to my new look in the street! I began to think if this decision was taken in my country, what would the reactions be? Of course, it would be so negative by my parents, especially my brother who tried to stop me in various ways, citing that what I've done doesn’t match with my identity and beliefs. Even though I didn’t retract my decision, it is my freedom and my choice, and the laws here protect my personal freedom. " her family let her reluctantly, hoping she will come to her sense. But her brother has taken a hostile attitude and boycotted them.
Our children are not ours
This is felt by some parents who were forced to accept their daughters socialize with male colleagues at the school. More than that, it highlights the sense of helplessness about the activities in schools, like the refugee educational camps, which are a part of the curriculum, besides swimming lessons, sports and others.
A resident in a Swedish city speaks about parents who feel defeat and weakness in front of their children who refuse to obey them or to respect the habits that the parents can’t abandon. This what makes parents decide to go to countries similar in traditions, or return to the homeland, despite the war.
Why do men refuse to live with the new reality?
The majority of men who have refuge in Europe have been unable to absorb the idea that changing the place leads to changing conditions and laws, which in turn leads to changing the man position, from an obeyed male to a person who is equal with his wife in rights and duties. So that led to violence in different forms, ranging from preventing wives of learning or working, down to the beatings and killings sometimes.